What is 'the Puddle'?
The puddle symbolizes the practice of sitting with our (or other’s) feelings – embracing the often messy, yucky, overwhelming emotions that arise within us. It invites us to pause and fully experience whatever we’re feeling; whether it’s sadness, confusion, frustration, or joy. Instead of rushing to push these emotions away or find quick solutions (for self or others), we allow ourselves to be present with them. By ‘sitting in the puddle’, we encourage ourselves to reconnect with our feelings and bodies, creating space for the emotions that we often dismiss or ignore.
Where did 'the puddle' come from?
The concept of the ‘puddle’ emerged from my experiences with support during difficult times. I often struggled (and still do!) when people don’t know how to help me in tough moments. Instead of simply being present, they tend to offer solutions and advice, which often shuts me down and makes me hesitant to ask for help.
One day, after a particularly challenging day, I was lamenting to my partner. His instinct was to fix my problem or suggest what I should do. Feeling disconnected and frustrated by his need for solutions, I searched for a way to help him understand what I needed in that moment. That’s when ‘the puddle’ was born. I explained that I just wanted him to sit in my puddle with me. What I truly needed was the space to feel my emotions and have someone there to share that experience with me.
Why does 'the puddle' work?
‘The puddle’ may seem counterintuitive at first, which is one of the reasons why people hesitate to sit in it with others. It can also be generally uncomfortable for us. Our loved ones dislike seeing us struggle and instinctively want to fix our problems. However, this well-meaning approach can inadvertently diminish our feelings. Instead of being present with someone in their pain, we often rush to offer solutions, believing this will help them feel better.
In reality, allowing feelings to exist and giving them the space and time they need, is essential for healing. By ‘sitting in the puddle’, we create an opportunity to process and release those emotions in the moment.
While it’s unlikely that everything will be resolved immediately, acknowledging and validating feelings can significantly lighten their emotional weight. Being present with someone during their struggle, helps them feel seen and understood.
This process ultimately, is about the connection to another, and the recognition of our pain in the moment, which is what we truly seek.
